I’m a total geek, so this may not be as amusing to others, but I laughed the whole time I was watching this.

SONIC BLOOMBERG!

I’ve had this idea all day, but couldn’t look up the lyrics while I was in the office. I don’t know how funny it really is, but my wife laughed until she was red in the face. She loves this song and the oddities of Victorian culture though. While you are reading it, imagine a man in a tuxedo, top hat, and handlebar mustache singing it to you.

My word Rebekah, look upon her backside.
It is certainly too large. She looks like one of those commoners.
But who understands such fiends?

They only speak with her, because,
She has the look of a lady of the evening
Her backside is simply too large
I cannot believe that it is so round
Shown off, so grotesquely
She is far too common!

I like large posteriors and I cannot prevaricate
You fine sirs can not deny
That when a young lady walks in with a corseted waist
And a hoop skirt in your face
I am filled with fervor, and feel I must pull fourth my tongue
Because you noticed those petticoats were layered greatly
Deep within her clothing
My yearning was great, and I could not stop from staring
My dearest, I wish to be at your side
And have your portrait done
My lodge mates did give a warning
But your back side does fill me with yearning
Oh, posterior of silk
You say that you would like a ride in my Coach?
My lady, I am yours, I am yours
For you are no commoner
I have seen the others dance
I will spare you further romance
She is fully a glow
She has something like the fastest horse
I am tired of publications
Which proclaim small rears to be desirable
Find a common man and ask him that
She must have a large posterior
So, Gentlemen! (YES!) Fine Sirs! (YES!)
Has your lady an ample rear? (Certainly!)
Tell them to move it with vigor! (Vigor!) VIGOR! (Vigor!)
Move that healthy backside!
My lady has ample rear!

If you are exceptionally late to jumping on a bandwagon, does it count as being an early adopter of something that is soon to be retro? Probably not. Anyway, this was just a silly idea that struck my fancy. Enjoy.