In a send off to all that is awful, I have chosen to do so with my most hated of internet communication methods: The Top 10 List

10. Comment Sections - Being a person that creates things, I have to say that one of the worst things about the internet is the comment sections on websites. Every troll, snark, and l33t thinks that they are God’s gift to critical thought and must share how truly awful anything creative is. It is truly amazing how many things are the ‘worst thing ever’.

9. Teabaggers - Really they should rank higher in the scale of bad, but their lack of understanding about their own naming convention has given me endless snickering. Sufficed to say, as an educated godless liberal I find little common ground with these folk. If they all faded away, or better yet - just STFU, I could be so happy.

8. Genocide, Rape, and Murder - I think we can agree these are all bad things. AMIRIGHT? I’m only counting the ones that happened in the last decade. None of the rest really matter.

7. Flash based websites with music that blares at you as soon as you load them - Totally worse than murder. I mean, if I murdered the dude that made these things, I’d be doing every one a favor…right?

6. Glen Beck - If Glen Beck was my Dad, I wouldn’t know it until I was much older. In fact, he would cut off my hand and then tell me. Then I’d scream no and drop into a tunnel network under Cloud City. He’s like that, just minus the cool black outfit and James Earl Jones voice over. Only if he throws that fat fucker Limbaugh over the railing will he earn his redemption.

5. Puppies - I realize puppies aren’t something we discovered or that rose to prominence in the last decade, nor are they even that bad. The thing is, Top 10 lists always have something amazingly retarded in the middle that doesn’t follow the rules of the list or even make a single bit of god damned sense. My pick is Puppies.

4. Star Wars Prequels - Xeno says there were only three Star Wars films. I wish he was right, but the scars that Phantom Menace left on my heart are too deep to ignore. If you need it explained to you, go here.

3. The Bush Years - Maybe revisionist history can paint these in a better light. Meanwhile, I’m gonna have a beer and try to forget.

2. Global Recession - I guess that sucks pretty hard too.

1. The number one most awful thing about the past decade has to be Top 10 lists. They are stupid. They are merely attention grabs and a means to drive comments, snarky or otherwise. I have never read one and thought “Self, that was a well thought out piece of writing, I am so glad the writer had the forethought to put it into numerical order! Otherwise I may have lost interest or been unable to grasp a sense of priority.”