So I was going to rant about inconsistencies in the TV show, but instead, I’ll just say a few words about Taken. (One more Lost strip on Friday. I don’t think it has any spoilers in it, but if you’re overly sensitive about this sort of thing, I would just check back with us on Monday, when we’ll probably have some more dick jokes for you.)
Anyway, as I was saying, Taken. That movie kicks ass. And the world needs more movies in which Liam Neeson stops being nice, and starts kicking some more ass.
Also, that director’s next movie, From Paris with Love, that just looks like a giant turd. I mean, seriously. Travolta looks awful in it. Like, that goatee is one of the saddest looking attempts at being cool that I’ve ever seen.
Also, I’m very upset with Travolta, as I had to be one of the few people in the US that actually paid to see Battlefield Earth. WTF. (My god, I actually paid to see that? Don’t I have any friends? Why wasn’t I warned?) I didn’t know it was the basis for some religion or another. I thought it was going to be a sci-fi epic. And it wasn’t. It sucked. It’s Travolta wandering around with stupid dreadlocks and an obviously stuffed codpiece. And the religion is goofy, too. (I’m only $250,000 away from getting my thetans to the next level, at which point I’m pretty sure they fight Bowser)
I’m sorry, John, but the only way to get your career back on track is to team up in another movie with Samuel L. Jackson and let Liam Neeson kick your ass.
“I have a particular set of skills…” etc. Damn, that movie ruled. Note to self: rewatch Taken this weekend.
Xeno and Elf, wearing a hat
Xeno: I mean, Sayid is supposed to be hung up on Nadia, right? But then he was hooking up with the blonde chick in season one.
Panel 2:
Xeno and Elf, without a hat
Elf: Was there a blonde chick? Was she only massively important in season 1? I don't remember her.
Panel 3:
Xeno and Elf, wearing a hat
Xeno: That's because you have no sense of continuity.
Taken was a good flick, but Bourne still rules. If it makes you feel any better, your guy could easily beat up Jack Bauer or even a non-Daniel Craig Bond.
They’re not mutually exclusive. They can both rule.
The thing about Taken, however, is that it’s a regular run of the mill ex-CIA badass who has his daughter taken away from him, so he goes and kicks some ass. That’s called a plot.
The Bourne movies are Greengrass wandering around after Matt Damon without bothering to keep the camera still for more than two seconds. Admittedly, he goes and kicks some ass, but I feel sea sick after a couple of minutes.
And as far as Bond goes, they need to crank those out while they can. Daniel Craig ain’t getting any younger.