Teddy!
How could Jack the Ripper have been Teddy Roosevelt? Oh, I don’t know. Let’s take a look.
1. Roosevelt loved hunting. As we know from countless movies, man is the most dangerous game of all.
2. Roosevelt’s whereabouts in the late 1880s are unknown. (At least to me.)
3. The Ripper murders conveniently end, and then Roosevelt pops up in America. As a Vice President. Think about it.
Anyway, to sum up what we’ve learned this week: History Channel = awesome.
Of course, there is only so much WWII footage one can watch before one gets bored. C’est la vie.
↓ Transcript
Panel 1:
Xeno and Vlad in front of TV
Xeno: Well, I'm bored. Did you want to go play pool?
From the TV: But by then, Jack the Ripper had made his escape.
Panel 2:
Xeno and Vlad
Vlad: Nah, I mean, they've almost caught Jack the Ripper.
Xeno: They never caught Jack the Ripper.
Panel 3:
Xeno and Vlad
Vlad: Well, then they'll at least accuse somebody who can't defend themselves.
Xeno: It was Teddy Roosevelt. Now, come on, let's go play pool.
Xeno and Vlad in front of TV
Xeno: Well, I'm bored. Did you want to go play pool?
From the TV: But by then, Jack the Ripper had made his escape.
Panel 2:
Xeno and Vlad
Vlad: Nah, I mean, they've almost caught Jack the Ripper.
Xeno: They never caught Jack the Ripper.
Panel 3:
Xeno and Vlad
Vlad: Well, then they'll at least accuse somebody who can't defend themselves.
Xeno: It was Teddy Roosevelt. Now, come on, let's go play pool.
