Can we make a plea for common sense?
Recently, Sweden relaxed a law that forbade people naming their kids stupid things (Ikea, Metallica, Lego). Apparently, some jerk named their kid "Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116 (pronounced Albin)" in protest of the law. Well, done, sir, you showed that socialist Swedish government what’s what!
Now, I’m all for screwing up your own life if you want to, but, seriously, people, drop the bong and think for a minute. "Metallica "? If you’re going to ruin your kid’s life over a band name, at least pick a good band. There’s no reason you couldn’t name your kid "Beatles". (Take, for instance, this poor guy born in 1970: John Lennon . You’d go by J. Robert Lennon if you were named that, too.) But, seriously, if you name your kid Metallica, they’re going to get their ass kicked everyday on the playground by "Sum 41" or "System of a Down". This is a dangerous path to go down, considering all of those bands suck.
Which brings us to our next topic. Gwen Stefani recently gave birth to a boy. Determined to make his life miserable, they named him Zuma Nesta Rock . I wish I could make this crap up. But, congratulations, anyway, Gwen, your kid will go through his life being called "Zima". If only there was some way to console him…. Oh, right, the millions of dollars. That will help. Well, at least the bass player from No Doubt is breathing a sigh of relief. Though I hear he is contemplating naming his first born "Doc Otis".
Oh, and another one: Apple Martin - Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin’s kid, whose name sounds vaguely like a cocktail.
Just do yourself a favor. Name your kid Chuck Norris . He kicks ass.